Stressing Out

Because of my chronic pain it is hard to focus and get motivated to do other tasks in my life. Let me tell you what that means.

I have pain in my arm and wrist that happens when I use the computer too much. So I'm behind in my e-mails. I must do about an 1/2 hr and quit for  a while. I feel tired all the time. I can read a book for a for as long as half an hour, but then put it down because lack of focus.  So I can't do things for long periods of time.

To get money, I can't work like most people do. So I do surveys on the computer to make extra money so I can do things. I keep track of every penny. But I'm in debt. Now with the cuts of dental and future bills looming, I will have to figure out how I will get to the store soon and to my doctor appointments and that will cost more money. It drives me crazy. I'm always thinking of my problems, my health, my financial situation and all the things I need to do to get my life back on track.

I have a few friends, but they all are too busy to help me. If I ask my friends for help too often, they won't be my friends for long. One friend is already tired of me  and might not come over any more because of it. I lost my last worker because I got stressed out already.

People tell me to take a bus. But that is hard to when you've got to get a lot of things and need help to carry things. I try to be cheery, but it is hard. Another friend had me join a church. So I try to do my Buddhist chanting as much as possible to change my life condition. 

There is a lot of stuff I want to get to improve my home on craigslist.org for free, but the guy friends I know are to far away to bring them to me. They have back trouble, work and also don't have a truck to get the bigger items I need. So that doesn't help. The one friend I do have who would help is in Hawwai most of the time.