My Physical Therapy Appointment Today

Today after waiting for months for approvals for a few appointments to help with my tendinitis for my arms and shoulders, I was baffled. I chose this particular physical therapy place because they were closer to where I live. My only other choice was a place in Greenbrae, which was much farther away and not accessible by bus.

It was a big mistake. I was dismissed with only one visit only. The physical therapists told me about a few exercises and tips on being on the computer. They didn't even show me anything! What I was told basically was to exercise, exercise, no matter what. When I asked about what I should do about being in pain, they told me to "exercise through the pain." Huh? These are physical therapist giving me this advice?

Also, I was told I should have a better bed and couch. Where is this furniture going to come from? They told me that I should definitely not to carry heavy things. Especially I was told to eliminate having too much stuff in my purse. Does anyone think about what it's like when you have to carry everything you need to have with you because you don't have a car?

The physical therapists want me to find an activity that I really love to get me motivated to get  out more. They suggested finding an exercise class that is low cost; like 3 bucks or maybe free. But they couldn't tell me where to look for such a thing.

After hearing this I was just baffled. Where am I going to find things like this? They expect that I have the money to pay for these things. They expect me to have the transportation to get to these places. There are beds available for free on craigslist.org, but who will transport this bed to my apartment and up my stairs?

 Where does any body that receives SSI and must live on a fixed budget finding these deals ?  And how can more physically active in a way help when you are in so much pain in the first place that you not in mood to do things and that it hurts at times that you can't do them.

First it does cost money for exercise classes. If the class is free there is still the question of having the money to get on a bus to get or if there is a bus that even goes to that area anytime the class is happening. Yes there are exercise books that you can check out of the library, but sometimes it hard to figure them out  or the poses hurt you even more because you don't have a coach to help you understand the way you can exercise without hurting yourself worse.

So, one good thing that has happened is that a friend brought me a Wii. With a Wii fit, I've been trying to do that on and off.  It shows you at least if you are doing the poses right when you body moves. Of course like I said it is sometimes tricky to try to to do the poses because sometimes it hurts more when you are in pain in the first place.  Also I get frustrated easily.  If  I don't get the hang of it so fast. I guess that when my my so called disabilities come in and get tired fast after 5 or 10 minutes, it seems.  But I try it when I get motivated to do it. Even though it might not be much, at least it is an effort.

The Ideal to have a nice bed is nice but if you don't have the money or the help to get it, that is a problem alone.   And if you shouldn't carry heavy things then how else am I supposed to do it when things are to far away to get to.  Yeh I have a small cart  but you can't carry something furniture on the bus.  So you really can't do "major" shopping, but only the weight of what you can carry. 

I carry a lot of stuff in my purse to a point it weighs about 8lbs after I've taken out everything that I can remove from it.  My friend Franis had me list everything I carry in my purse.  I did that and there is a reason why I needed everything I carry in the bag.  This doesn't include a reusable water bottle for long trips.  When I go out to Bolinas, I also need to carry a back pack on top of it all to collect stuff out of the free box where I find things for free.

I need all this stuff in my purse because I'm out most of the day or I spend the night some where I have to have everything in case I get stuck and have to stay longer than planned, which has happened. But I take the stuff I need just in case it rains at time or if I get stranded somewhere at the last minute. When you add things up like I do or if any one else does if they think like me (smart)  they to might come up with needing a heavy backpack too.

I think that people just don't think about things like that because they have a car and friends to help them out. They just don't know what I have to do to live with limited abilities that is an every-day part of my life.

Which is why I write this blog.

And I guess for me I could be more disciplined to do more things daily like exercise. My friend convinced me to buy a big exercise ball to sit on at the computer. My worker for my birthday gave me an exercise bike. So, we'll see if I can gradually work up to using these things regularly.

How I'm try to cope in a bad situations.

Hi I know I've not been on my blog for quite awhile but I've been busy trying to cope with my life situation.

I have gotten one very sweet response to my blog. and I hope these people can help me out,, (as they have offered) on some personal things I'm going though.

Since the last time I wrote I got so depressed. I'm not sure people know what that means, but you shoot down anyone's help. Once my friend Fran returned from Hawaii a while back, my focus was to get  my depression and stuff under control . Thanks to Fran, I was able to get on new anti-depressant which has helped a lot with my depression. We're hoping these changes also stop the weight gain that has been making my back pain worse. But I'm still going though pain. I'm trying to cope with my situation and trying to get motivated to do things I want to do daily. It's nowhere near as bad as it was before. Same life, different attitude.

  Because of  Gov. of Ca. (we nicknamed him the Terminator) trying to cut so many people who were on In Home Support Services, the local news was advertising reasons for cutting hours. What they said on the TV didn't help my situation.  My worker at the time got weird from listening to the TV. She started repeating to me what the TV people were saying. She was sided with the TV news and the Terminator on trying to cut out services for people that need them no matter what situation they are in.  Because she was stressing me out because she thought I wasn't deserving of the services if I wasn't in a wheelchair! I had to let her go and be without a worker for awhile. Fran helped me write a new advertisement to find someone else.

I was very grateful and immensely relieved for the the Federal Goverment Ruling that none of these services should be cut off. It did not matter what level of disability or help that people needed in their situation. They realized that,  without services, people like me (who need some help,) we are only going to get worse and will become more costly as that happens.

But, here we are in 2010.  The word on the news grapevine is there will be another attempt on the Gov. Terminator's part to try to cut out the whole program all together. So here we might go again for round two!

Since then my need of help is still the same. But at least I have a nice wonderfull new worker that helps me out now until the IHSS bomb drops from the CA state capitol.  I'm very happy with my current worker. I hope she stays with working for me forever! She is so much fun to be around.

I'm  now going to go to physical thearpy for my tendinitis and chronic athritis soon, after months of waiting on the proper paper work to go though.  I hope it helps. It is hard being on the computer for long periods of time and that's my main entertainment.

But I'm trying to do as much of my e-mails that I can. Since I can't work to make money, I do a lot of surveys. Sometimes I get rewards or a few cents of cash for doing them. So that has helped out some just to start a saving account.  If  I can get more friends or other people I can refer them also and get rewards for that too.  But so far not many people are willing to do it. If you intersted let me know.  I have gotten many free coffees on my Star Bucks card and so on for my efforts.

Yes I'm still in debt but I'm trying to get out but it is hard since the goverment cut my health benefits. No more dentist filling cavities in teeth, or replacing front teeth that get knocked out by accident or breaking off.  And the state still hasn't raised SSI income in awhile for a cost of living increase. Instead, they cut it. So it is hard to stay afloat  at times, In fact, I'll have to be a liitle more thifty to get by. Trying not to get more in debt.

People say that I should get out and walk around more. It's difficult to not walk into the Dollar Store and buy something every time I leave home. It also costs me to get on the bus to go anywhere, and riding the bus hurts my back. So, it's cheaper for me to just stay home to avoid spending money.

I call 800 numbers from the products I buy and  tell them how much I like them. Sometimes they send me free coupons for the next time I buy the item,  That  helps me out a lot. I also enter contests on line, and have won some. But mostly I just win products. But that is fun to do.

 I also take my old books to a used book store for selling.  Also, I found a place online to that pays for shipping and cash for your used books to,  I can get extra cash for referring people to site also. So if you like to buy used books, let me know!

Then on Fri. I watch the 5pm news on channel 7 and they have a segment call Micheal Finney's Fri. free stuff.  I just started doing that. I have gotten stuff like free pizza and burgers and what not. Just by watching and sending a SASE to the place to get my free stuff.  

Well I think this is it for now if you are interested in the things I've to offer let me know and I'll get back to you when I can.  

Thanks for listening and following my blog.

Tammy

New Requirements for Workers by IHSS

Today a letter arrived announcing that the benefits people had cut my SSI by five bucks. This made me be afraid that my SSI disability check could be cut further at any time. That was very upsetting.

Then I got a notice by In Home Support  Services that people who work for me, (who are paid by IHSS,) will have to "qualify" to be paid minimum wage by taking courses sponsored by the county! They will need to be fingerprinted and get a criminal background check that disallows people who are felons and "serious misdemeanors,"  - whatever that means. 

The weird thing is IHSS is going to require fingerprints from both me and the person who is working for me on every report form. They want these fingerprints to be there on each time sheet!  Are they paying for us to buy the equipment to do the fingerprinting? Probably not. Another expense; pretty soon they'll require us to buy "special" from them ink so it can be electronically checked. 

Where will this supposedly "good" idea about "security improvements" end?

This is is an invasion of privacy because ANYONE can get hold of my fingerprints in the mail! All for the privilege of being able to work for minimum WAGE! It's hard enough to get someone who will work for you because of how IHSS takes so long to pay. Now it will be impossible! Workers are always paid late. Workers may have their hours cut or eliminated at any time with only ten days notice!

There is another sucky thing you must agree to allow. Because you need help, you give up your right to privacy. IHSS wants to be able to "surprise inspect" your house at any time. 

I remember these "surprise inspections." I watched Mr. Wilson, who was dying and needed care who lived next door. One day when his worker was supposed to show up, Mr. Wilson did not answer the door when his worker came. So his worker called the cops and the cops broke down Mr. Wilson's door. This happened many times because Mr. Wilson used to fall asleep regularly when he was supposed to stay awake.


So I'd like to know what will happen if IHSS makes a "surprise" visit and I am in my worker's car going to the store or at an appointment with my worker so I don't answer the door. Will they call the cops and break into my house? 

If IHSS comes "unannounced" to my house and I am being taken to an appointment and so is not home, will they search my house? We all know what cops do to a house when it is searched. 

I am really, really mad about these "policy changes". I am so mad that I am screaming. Frustration doesn't even begin to describe how I feel.


It's hard enough to find people who will work for IHSS, let along workers who will put up with having their fingerprints regularly sent through the mail. What were these stupid people thinking???  

They are thinking: "Let's put more hoops in the way so nobody will want to work for these people who need help. Then these people will get worse because they'll be forced to do things for themselves and they'll die sooner. Then we won't have to deal with them."


In-Home Support Services people say that they're trying to minimize "fraud." But they're actually making it impossible for IHSS recipients to find people to work for them. 

OK, let's say you are a kind relative who wants to help our your ailing oldster by working around the house for them. To afford to do this, you need to get paid something. Would you send your fingerprints through the mail each month to work for these minimum wages? 

On top of that, IHSS has announced they will no longer mail checks to P.O. Boxes. Now my favorite worker who sometimes works for me cannot do so, because her only possible mail delivery location is a rural Post Office box!

I am livid. I guess I'll just hurry up and die earlier like everyone else will have to do.

Getting the Groceries Home

I've been working on what I'm going to do when I don't have someone to drive me to go buy groceries. Many people come up with suggestions because they imagine there must be another way to work out getting what I need.

The past week the social worker at In Home Support Services gave me a suggestion.  He told me to pay for my groceries to get delivered. So I called the two stores I shop at up on the phone and asked about how much this would cost.

Guess what Grocery Outlet said, which is over 4 miles away? They won't deliver at all because they are a discount store. They suggested that I shop there and call a cabbie to get my groceries home. So I checked that out and it's about twenty dollars. Plus, the cab driver has to wait while I unload the groceries and might charge me more.

When I moved here, there was a Safeway grocery store around the corner. That store closed, but a brand new Safeway is now the closest store to me. The only problem is that it's over a mile away from where I live - a two and a half mile round trip. I can't walk that far. Someone told me there's a new store (called Paradise) moving into the old place. Too bad it's going to be even more expensive than the price increases at the new Safeway. It's going to take some time before it's open too.

Safeway does have a way to deliver groceries. I will have to buy e-food at Safeway on-line with my credit card.

There are two serious problems with this. First is that I can't use coupons online that save me money as I have been doing when I buy in person. The savings are from $20. to $30. bucks each shopping that I do twice a month.  If I buy everything on-line, I would be spending that extra money without the coupons. Then there is the $15.00 delivery charge on top of that.

There is another problem: I must use my credit card to get groceries delivered.  The credit companies frown on buying food with a credit card. They think it is a bad sign that I do not have enough money. They will lower my credit limit if I buy food online, because they see charging the costs of groceries to be a red flag. They have recently lowered my credit limit even lower, and started charging additional fees.

Then there is how to get my medication from the pharmacy to me. There's a pharmacy at Safeway in another town will deliver my medication but that costs $3. bucks a pop.

I wish I could get my groceries delivered for $3. It's looks as if grocery delivery will cost an extra $75. a month. You must buy at least $50. before they deliver your groceries. Given my credit card limit, how long will it be before I can't buy food because I've maxed my credit limit?

So I see no way of doing this. I just don't have the money to get food delivered.

If I take a bus to all these places, I would have to take multiple trips to get all my shopping done. I will be shopping every day. That will cost more; the bus is a dollar each way; that is an extra sixty dollars a month to shop daily.

Then there is carrying everything upstairs to my apartment, (especially in the rain,) to and from the bus stop. It's not hard to imagine that I would be so tired and in even more back pain than I'm in now. My doctor has now diagnosed me with tendinitis wrist pain.

That's how I got hurt in the first place - by slipping on ice on my deck.

If I accidentally  fall and hurt myself or get sick there is nobody to ask for help. My neighbors can't help me, because they all don't speak English. Besides, they are busy with there own lives. They don't even visit or talk to me anyway, mostly because we don't speak each other's language.

It's the same with my friends who do speak my language. I'm already driving people away thinking about all this stuff.


So I'm stuck. This is why disabled people kill themselves.

If you have any other suggestions, please put them in the comments section. Other people who are reading this blog will also benefit.

Stressing Out

Because of my chronic pain it is hard to focus and get motivated to do other tasks in my life. Let me tell you what that means.

I have pain in my arm and wrist that happens when I use the computer too much. So I'm behind in my e-mails. I must do about an 1/2 hr and quit for  a while. I feel tired all the time. I can read a book for a for as long as half an hour, but then put it down because lack of focus.  So I can't do things for long periods of time.

To get money, I can't work like most people do. So I do surveys on the computer to make extra money so I can do things. I keep track of every penny. But I'm in debt. Now with the cuts of dental and future bills looming, I will have to figure out how I will get to the store soon and to my doctor appointments and that will cost more money. It drives me crazy. I'm always thinking of my problems, my health, my financial situation and all the things I need to do to get my life back on track.

I have a few friends, but they all are too busy to help me. If I ask my friends for help too often, they won't be my friends for long. One friend is already tired of me  and might not come over any more because of it. I lost my last worker because I got stressed out already.

People tell me to take a bus. But that is hard to when you've got to get a lot of things and need help to carry things. I try to be cheery, but it is hard. Another friend had me join a church. So I try to do my Buddhist chanting as much as possible to change my life condition. 

There is a lot of stuff I want to get to improve my home on craigslist.org for free, but the guy friends I know are to far away to bring them to me. They have back trouble, work and also don't have a truck to get the bigger items I need. So that doesn't help. The one friend I do have who would help is in Hawwai most of the time.

Where I'm From

For a long time now, I am lucky to be getting Section 8. This is a Federal program that helps disabled people by paying part of the rent. I came to California in Sept. of 1985.

Walking used to be fun. Routinely, I used to get off the bus in Fairfax and walk all the way to San Rafael where I could catch the bus home.

Since 1999, my home has been in Novato, CA. There used to be a big food store within walking distance to my apartment. Now that food store has moved across the highway and it is more than mile away. Of course this would happen after I hurt my back and have trouble walking.

I want to get a kid's wagon that I'm thinking of using to go shopping. A cop stopped a friend of mine who I had sent to get groceries and told him he couldn't use a shopping cart to bring my groceries home.